Do you ever feel like things only get HARDER?

I have been through this feeling literally OVER a million times. I know the times where we just want to crawl in our bed, a corner of a room, in our closets, or even locking ourselves in the bathroom. I have been there...in ALL of those places. There are times where we just feel like we can not win at all in a day. Life is hard, it is so true and I will not argue with that.

What needs to happen is how we are reacting to certain circumstances and situations life throws at us. I am a firm believer that things do happen for a reason, there is MEANING behind the thing we are having a battle with.We all have fear happen inside of us. But it's okay... it's okay to feel unsure at times, it's okay to not know what to do next, it's okay to really just FEEL and take some moments to ourselves, we truly need that in our lives. Sometimes, I have to take a moment and just let it all out and cry. If we cannot feel our feelings at times, then how do we know what we really are FEELING.

Were you ever told to "not cry" or "there is absolutely nothing to be sad about"? learning to actually lean into that feeling and accepting that the feeling is THERE and if you numb your sadness, are you numbing your happiness and joy as well? Do not destroy your happiness, it is there, you have to dig DEEP for it, maybe you really have to dig deeper because you have not let yourself actually BE HAPPY when there is times to REALLY be happy.

Days, weeks, or even years can be tough on all of us. I kept a journal through my whole time of having to go through all the things after getting a DUI. Yes, I got a DUI when I was 18 years old, it was horrible. One thing I will always remember is when I was having to take a class where they tell us stories of recurring DUI's, what will happen if we kept drinking and driving. The teacher of the class said that he had a student tape a piece of paper to her dashboard that read "The DUI was over 10,000 dollars, do you have that money to spare? Is there a life worth SPARING?" I was like WOAH. There is so many studies explaining how many lives have been taken because of someone being intoxicated driving a car. I will talk more about this on another post, but I am PROUD to say, that will never ever be me again.

Do you have the money to WASTE on things that make you feel like your drowning even more? I don't even need to say what that is because if you do that, then you know what I am talking about. Do you have kids you need to think about? what about YOURSELF? It is honestly just so much easier to smile and laugh when you can than to clam shut and just be miserable every single day. I went through a time where I could not be around people that were happy...I struggled so much to be happy with myself that when others were happy around me, I hated it. Why did I feel this way? because I kept "failing" in my life and I had no idea what to do. I will say this though, that was when my first child was born and I started going back to work, the job I had, I did not like it at all, but I should have been GRATEFUL to have a job right? Yes, I should have been and I am grateful for every thing in my life right now even when bad things happen, I look for the positive in them and yes sometimes I do sit in a corner and cry it all out, but that is what needs to happen sometimes. We get so wrapped up that we keep pushing it all aside until we explode...this is why I started my "Gratitude Journal" and read so many books its insane, because that's what makes me happy and we need our times where we do feel safe and happy in this crazy world, then we also need privacy times to feel our sadness.

Think of how much you have accomplished, think about what you LOVE the most in this world...hold on to that. Your actions will not change, until your mind does.